The Spanish Kitchen (Los Angeles)

Ok, so hundreds of you have written to me begging me to write a non-complimentary review of a restaurant. So, for all my little "biters" out there, this one is for you.

It is my first Los Angeles eatery review so it might not pertain to most of my following in NY (except for you bisexual, i mean bicoastal, peers).

I recently traveled with me and a few of my NY friends out to LA for the long 4th of July weekend. My brown friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, brought us to a restaurant in West Hollywood for his cousin's birthday party at a place called the Spanish Kitchen. I used to live within blocks of this place but never went. Part of my reasoning was that there was always a long line of nice cars and fancy people and the other reason was that it was just such a scene. I only had cared about good food....and my instincts served me correctly.

Right when we walked in, we ordered the $18 Gigante Margarita. It had to be awesome right?!?!? WRONG. DEAD WRONG. 4 of us got the beverage and all of us, virtually at the same time turned to each other and said "Is there any tequila in this?" We took a couple more sips to make sure and all agreed, we were not feeling the buzz. Finally we said something to the waiter who was really nice and offered to take them back and get us new ones or make us another drink. That was perfectly nice of him. However, 5 minutes later the manager walks over and starts screaming at us that "he watched the bartender make those and there is a lot of alcohol"... to "good tequila doesn't taste like the normal trash you drink and that is why you can't taste it"... to "you can't taste it because this is probably your second one." NOT TRUE. We were stoned sober. Finally he said he would make the margaritas again the exact same way and waddyaknow, they were finally normal.

That was only the beginning. Now the food. A couple of us ordered the Carne Asada which is essentially skirt steak marinated in mexican spices. This steak was fatty, dull and lacked any flavor at all. I go to the local market here and get Carne Asada in a bag and it dominates this shit. Also, this one was $20. One other person got Chicken Enchiladas which were mundane but edible. Finally, another gentleman ordered the fire roasted shrimp. Those were the best, only because they merely grilled shrimp with no flavor so they sufficed.

This meal sucked and we all dropped $40 each. Do not eat here. Do not drink here.

Stay hungry my friends.